What Mums Wear: Kelly Williams, Author of Midimalist & Travel/Hospitality PR.
"Midimalist is my passion-project that has also become a major lifeline for me."
What mums wear is a series that explores the intersection of style, motherhood, career and self. If you know someone I should consider for this series, please reply to this email with their name and IG or Substack details.
Meet: Author of & Travel/Hospitality PR Agent.
On work, routine and getting dressed before the day gets away.
I work part-time in travel and hospitality PR and have a flexible schedule. I’m lucky to have made amazing contacts pre-kids that I could call on once I was ready to work again after taking time off. I worked really hard to land a job that would fit into my life with kids.
I wake painfully early in the morning (about 4:30am) so that I can workout before my kids are up. I absolutely have to get dressed first thing or the day totally gets away from me. My husband and I have certain times of day that we each “own” so the other person doesn’t have to carry the mental or physical load. My husband takes breakfast; he makes breakfast for me and the kids while I make sure backpacks are packed and I do my daughters’ hair. Every morning I eat greek yogurt topped with frozen blueberries, chia seeds and my favorite granola. As long as the weather cooperates, we all walk the kids to school! Then I am at home working at my computer until it’s time for pick-up!
On the and carving out time for creativity.
Midimalist is my passion-project that has also become a major lifeline for me. I always wanted to be a fashion writer growing up so it’s actually quite full-circle that I’m able to write my own newsletter and I get to be in charge of what it looks like from start to finish. I could have never guessed the community I would find on Substack. I feel like I’ve found my people; fashion people, writers, learners, and everyone is so, so kind.
Ideas for newsletters will strike me at the most random time and I keep a note in my phone with snippets of thoughts. Not only does my husband own breakfast but he also owns bedtime so I usually have an hour at the end of the day to channel my energy. I find that by keeping notes, I’m pretty good at sitting down and knocking out a good first draft. The most time consuming part of my newsletters is sourcing images and creating graphics but it’s also the most fun. I can and do spend hours trying to find the right images to go with my newsletters.
On the importance of support.
Not to take away from any of my hard work (because I work really hard to juggle everything) but my life is made infinitely better and easier because of my husband. The North Star in motherhood is trying to be present with my kids. I can do that because I have a partner who helps carve out space for me to do the other stuff so when my kids are with me, I’m not distracted. My husband is supportive of my goals, he’s a sounding board for my ideas, and he encourages me when I feel overwhelmed.
How Kelly approaches getting dressed each day.
If you ask anyone in my life; I am seriously type A, EXCEPT when it comes to getting dressed. I really never have a plan and I’m totally guided by feelings. Obviously the weather plays a key role because I live in a climate that has seasonal weather but I’m often starting with 1 piece I really want to wear. Mostly my outfits begin with a pair of shoes or pants (I have so very many of each) and then I piece something together off instinct. I really don’t have long to get dressed or play around in my wardrobe so I have to be decisive.
It took her three years to find her style after kids.
I consider myself a student of fashion. I’ve always loved it and I have always studied it; for as long as I can remember I would see something on a mannequin or in a magazine and understand the changing silhouettes, colors, etc. I love taking what I see and translating it to my own wardrobe so I was wearing what was trending before most of my friends. BUT I always found 1 friend in each season of life who shared a passion for clothes to connect with.
Having babies was really hard on my identity because I had my kids quite close together (3 kids in 3 years) and before most of my friends. Obviously my body changed a ton but my mental health suffered too. I remember scrolling my phone during those middle-of-the-night feedings and I was just buying whatever I saw on an influencer. I totally lost touch with what I wanted and especially what I needed. More than anything else, I didn’t really realize what my new life entailed so dressing for the new life was hard. I was busy buying dresses when I needed nursing friendly tops and pants I could crawl around in.
My youngest was 3 before I really landed on my new style that accommodated the practical side of my mom life. In my unofficial survey of friends, it took most of my friends about that long too.
How Kelly found herself and style after motherhood and advice for those feeling lost.
I took a class in college about rituals and traditions, and I will always remember that Rites of Passage include 3 stages; separation, transition and incorporation. I think that when women go through changes like changing jobs, moving cities and- definitely- pregnancy; we find ourselves separated from our identity and, therefore, our style.
So, for me, pregnancy was the separation time- I wasn’t shopping (or participating in fashion) except to find clothes that could fit my changing body. And then, I had this massive transition in my style thanks to needing things that fit with the lifestyle of having kids. And, now, I feel like I’m re-incorporated into my style and being able to think about fashion again.
So my advice is really about using that transition time wisely to ask yourself what feels good on your new body, what types of things make sense for your new life and how you can form a style around it. I also really recommend spending time away from social media or using it sparingly because what works for one person (even a person going through the same transition) is totally different than what works for you. I got off of Instagram when my youngest was 2ish and my style really crystalized after that.
Best parenting tip?
I remember reading advice on Cup of Jo (now Big Salad) about “being a cork in the ocean” and it really changed my response to motherhood. As I said, I can be quite controlling and having kids really removes any notion that you have control. So I found a lot of freedom in releasing control and embracing being a cork on the waves; it never sinks, it moves with the waves.
Oh, and also, water fixes everything. If your baby is fussy; run a bath or fill up a bucket and let them play!
Where Kelly takes seeks inspiration.
I’m hugely inspired by street style but I’m not talking about the images taken outside of a fashion week show, I love outfits someone put on to live a real life. I’ve written before about celebrity street style from paparazzi photos and, even though I feel so bad that celebrities can’t walk down the street without being photographed, I love seeing what they are wearing when they dressed for a regular day. I also watch YouTube videos of people being stopped on the street for their outfits (my favorite channel here). Instagram used to be better for that but more and more photos are staged and I can just sense when an outfit wasn’t actually worn by that person.
Her regular outfit formula includes…
In broad strokes I wear pants and a shirt every day. As obvious as that answer might sound, it also means I don’t wear many dresses, skirts or blouses. Most often you’ll find me in;
Jeans/Pull-on Pants + Tee Shirt or Button Up + Fun Accessory
One of my closest shopping friends will say “let me guess, you are either going to buy denim or a jacket.” It’s my kryptonite! I’m never not shopping for another pair of pants or a great jacket.
Her signature style is, you guessed it, “midimal”.
At the risk of sounding self-promoting, I often keep the idea of “midimal” in mind when putting an outfit together. On the spectrum between minimal and maximal I definitely fall more towards a minimalist so I keep an eye on having one part of my outfit tweaked through the addition of one special piece, or creating interest through color, silhouette, etc. At the beginning of this year, I got a bonus and bought myself the most gorgeous collar necklace and it has become the finishing touch on 99% of my outfits.
Buying denim one size up has been life-changing and has become her mum uniform…
Because I’m such a denim gal, I’ve realized the secret is buying 1 size bigger than you think you need. (Caveat: only buy 100% denim! Buying denim with elastane means that the denim won’t last as long and will bag-out in the butt and knees over time). Buying a size bigger is not only more comfortable for your new body (my stomach bloats way faster post-kids) BUT also it’s more comfortable for your new life of carrying a baby, chasing a toddler, or keeping up with a kid.
What Kelly is most ambitious about?
Whew! This question is hard and it’s really made me think. On the one hand, I’m ambitious about my writing. I want to continue to enjoy Substack and write from a place of personal passion. I have a few chapters of a fiction book sitting on my computer and I feel super motivated to finish writing that (even if it never makes it out into the world).
But I also have some personal ambitions like learning how to slow down (I’m never not reading this book in pursuit of more stillness) or working on connecting with my kids.
Want more WMW?
3 kids in 3 years, 4:30 am wake-up, writing a novel?? What can't this woman do?? I love Kelly and the community she's created, so grateful for her.
What a great deep dive into Kelly's lifestyle and how that informs her style. Adore!