I literally lost my voice after my c section. My daughter was premature and we were in NICU. It was a difficult time, but I was prepared for it and coping. One morning, after a massive headache, I woke up unable to speak above a whisper. I was told I was run down, quizzed for PMD. Told, despite my protestations that I felt fine but was just unable to speak, that it was ok to admit I wasn’t coping and unwell. In the end, I used my own research skills and found two journal articles where women had suffered vocal cord paralysis from a dural leak following c section. It was rare. When I insisted on a referral to an ENT they found my vocal cord was indeed paralysed and by that time the muscle was so atrophied, we were lucky to save it. This experience taught me what it felt like to be literally and figuratively without a voice, when I am used to being listened to. The “child birth is hard / hurts” mantra isn’t good enough when women are reporting real symptoms. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Thank you for sharing this, Jade. I had a similar experience with the birth of my daughter two years ago, where my pain was routinely dismissed and it’s caused me a lot of trauma. I really recommend seeing a psychologist. I just started and in only 3 sessions it has helped me process some of it. 🩷
Your story leaves me feeling heavy and helpless and feeling so sorry for the trauma you experienced. Thank you so much for bravely sharing as I can’t imagine how lonely; not only the experience itself made you feel but the residual emotional and physical aftermath. Big loves X
I don’t think I breathed the whole time I was reading.
I too walked away from my births with injuries that I healed from, but not quite the same as before. And I too, have found myself having to fall apart before someone would acknowledge the level of pain I was experiencing and give me something more than Panadol to help.
It’s wild isn’t it. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m sorry you went through what you did, but so grateful you are sharing. Giving birth and motherhood sometimes feels so lonely, particularly when we are made to feel like we don’t know our own bodies. Love the new look substack for you, and love reading your pieces even more. Thank you again x
So sorry you went through this, in a private, well-equipped hospital as well. I too still have birth trauma (and permanent life adjustments from it). Wishing you well on your healing journey <3
Ahh this is such a powerful piece of writing Jade. Thank you for sharing. You are an incredible woman. I’m just sorry as a health professional this gaslighting remains pervasive in women’s health. The very space you should be seen heard and believed. ❤️
Jade, you are a warrior! 💛 Like so many other women who unfortunately experience medical misogyny/ trauma or gaslighting in a medical / birth context. It’s such a vulnerable moment to have to advocate for yourself 🫂
Thank you for sharing.
If and when you felt ready, EMDR therapy may greatly assist your healing journey.
Thank you Claire. As I mentioned it’s far too common that we almost expect it which is sad. We shouldn’t have to scream to be heard. And thank you for the recommendation ♥️
I literally lost my voice after my c section. My daughter was premature and we were in NICU. It was a difficult time, but I was prepared for it and coping. One morning, after a massive headache, I woke up unable to speak above a whisper. I was told I was run down, quizzed for PMD. Told, despite my protestations that I felt fine but was just unable to speak, that it was ok to admit I wasn’t coping and unwell. In the end, I used my own research skills and found two journal articles where women had suffered vocal cord paralysis from a dural leak following c section. It was rare. When I insisted on a referral to an ENT they found my vocal cord was indeed paralysed and by that time the muscle was so atrophied, we were lucky to save it. This experience taught me what it felt like to be literally and figuratively without a voice, when I am used to being listened to. The “child birth is hard / hurts” mantra isn’t good enough when women are reporting real symptoms. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Thank you for sharing this, Jade. I had a similar experience with the birth of my daughter two years ago, where my pain was routinely dismissed and it’s caused me a lot of trauma. I really recommend seeing a psychologist. I just started and in only 3 sessions it has helped me process some of it. 🩷
Your story leaves me feeling heavy and helpless and feeling so sorry for the trauma you experienced. Thank you so much for bravely sharing as I can’t imagine how lonely; not only the experience itself made you feel but the residual emotional and physical aftermath. Big loves X
Thank you and I’m sorry for the heaviness but it does feel good to share the load. X
I don’t think I breathed the whole time I was reading.
I too walked away from my births with injuries that I healed from, but not quite the same as before. And I too, have found myself having to fall apart before someone would acknowledge the level of pain I was experiencing and give me something more than Panadol to help.
It’s wild isn’t it. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m sorry you went through what you did, but so grateful you are sharing. Giving birth and motherhood sometimes feels so lonely, particularly when we are made to feel like we don’t know our own bodies. Love the new look substack for you, and love reading your pieces even more. Thank you again x
Sp true. Thank you for your kind words. I have been trying to work on my writing (has been a welcomed distraction as is my delicious baby!). ♥️
Thank you for sharing ❤️
It was a hard one but change has to happen.
So sorry you went through this, in a private, well-equipped hospital as well. I too still have birth trauma (and permanent life adjustments from it). Wishing you well on your healing journey <3
Thank you Tania. It’s nice to know I’m not alone but also heartbreaking to hear it is so common. X
Jade, this is such a vulnerable piece, and so important. Thank you for sharing this so other women know they’re not alone, and can speak up.
Thank you for your ongoing support Hesper. Means a lot X
Ahh this is such a powerful piece of writing Jade. Thank you for sharing. You are an incredible woman. I’m just sorry as a health professional this gaslighting remains pervasive in women’s health. The very space you should be seen heard and believed. ❤️
Thank you. It feels quite freeing to share and to make sense of my own muddled thoughts. X
Jade, you are a warrior! 💛 Like so many other women who unfortunately experience medical misogyny/ trauma or gaslighting in a medical / birth context. It’s such a vulnerable moment to have to advocate for yourself 🫂
Thank you for sharing.
If and when you felt ready, EMDR therapy may greatly assist your healing journey.
Thank you Claire. As I mentioned it’s far too common that we almost expect it which is sad. We shouldn’t have to scream to be heard. And thank you for the recommendation ♥️